Tuesday, February 8, 2011

My bedtime thoughts

·         Why do we do what we do?  I realized something tonight as I lay in my bed while listening to the song Kingdom Come by Hillsong.  Everything I have done in the past has been in an attempt to change someone’s perception of me.  Even when I created this post I was hoping to impact your perception of me.  What if I was that concerned with how the Lord “perceives” me.  Why I am so concerned with my “worldly image.”  There are times when I claim not to care, but the truth is that I do.  Even when it comes to my spiritual walk with the Lord, I find myself wanting to impress others with my spirituality.  My goal over the next couple months is to dramatically improve this.  I want the Lord to motivate my actions.  I want to be true and sincere in the way I act.  No more faking.  Winning the approval of all of you, the readers, is ultimately unimportant.  I love you all and I admit that I will probably never be able to “not care” what you think about me, but I hope that my priorities can become a little more Christ centered.  

·         The truth is that I have always been a “people pleaser.”  So of you may be thinking "what? you are selfish Jordan!"  I know that I have not always been perfect, but I truthfully care a lot for others.  I have recently found myself sacrificing my own happiness in hopes of improving someone others.  Why would I do this?  What makes me think that I have the ability to make someone happy or fulfilled?  It’s about time that I start showing the Lord’s true love and the only way I can do that is to be completely and wholly filled with him.  The Lord is a lot better at filling people up then I could ever be!  Despite what I might like to think.  Well those were just a couple of my thoughts tonight as I lay in bed completely awake. haha

·         Btw I miss you family! I have been so blessed to grow up in a family of God.  No one knows how to have fun like you guys do.  And I give a shout out to Brandon and Tyler Czock!  You two are studs and I can’t wait to see the men of God you become.  I am sure you will end up teaching me a lot about life as well as sports!  Keep living for the Lord!  Nothing else will "fill" you up despite what some friends may tell you in the future.  If you ever want to hear examples of that, just let me know! :)

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